Hello 2017

remi Taylor bio photo By remi Taylor
Refrigerator magnet will surely solve all my problems! Consider all of my resolutions resolved!

It’s 5:50am and I’m already out of bed. Again. Just me and all women who resolved to go running every morning this year! (Note: Do not make resolutions while intoxicated)

But that’s not what I’ve resolved to do. I just resolved to get up early, in general. Ya see, I’m not exactly what you’d call a “morning person.” I’m more like… well, like a “morning bear.” Happy to hibernate, but oh, so very terrifying if you awake me from my slumber.

You know when I usually wake up for work? Never. That’s because I have no “usually”. Over the past few weeks, I’ve gotten out of bed at: 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am, 7am, 8am, and more typically 9am or later. And I’ve slept for anywhere between 4 and 16 hours. (Yes, I slept for 16 hours earlier this week.) Wanna know why?

I’m bipolar like nobody’s business

All y’all who’ve been majorly depressed totally feel me when I say that getting out of bed can be like climbing our own Mount Everest. And let’s not even talk about showering. Let’s just say I’ve got dry shampoo refills on speed dial.

And boy was I depressed a lot in 2016! I’m stuck in it right now. But, let me be clear: I am not sad. Like, not in the least! I’m just depressed. This is a distinction that people who haven’t suffered through major depression don’t get sometimes. The other day, I went out to dinner (yay out of the house!) and mentioned how depressed I’d been lately. My friend asked “What’s wrong?” so I said “Oh, just the depression sucks. That’s all. Nothing is wrong!

“Let me be clear: I am not sad … I’m just depressed.”

In 2016, I did A LOT to focus on myself…

  • Stopped smoking cigarettes 🚬
  • Stopped smoking marijuana 🍁
  • Stopped drinking alcohol 🍷
  • Adopted an adorable dog 🐶

That’s all … kinda major!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes!

Note, by the way, that I have nothing against smoking or drinking. (God, I love drinking…) But, for real, I shouldn’t take any mood altering drugs (except, maybe, something I get prescribed). And, believe it or not, I actually kinda love it? Don’t get me wrong, I love drinking. But it’s pretty dope not being addicated to anything. Plus I still adore a good cocktail party 🍸 (and I’ll still sneak outside with you for a smoke break).

So, 2017… what’s next?

Well, to start with, I’ve kicked caffeine. (Oh, coffee… you will be missed! ☕️)

Beyond that, I’ve come up with a completely ridiculous, long list of things I want to do EVERY DAY in January…

  • ✓ Get out of bed before 6am
  • ✓ Make my bed
  • ✓ Eat some form of breakfast
  • ✓ Take daily meds and vitamins
  • ✓ Exercise for at least 5 minutes
  • ✓ Shower
  • ✓ Wear an outfit I like
  • ✓ Wear at least a bit of makeup
  • ✓ Eat some form of lunch
  • ✓ Tweet something
  • ✓ Take Parker on 15+ minute walk
  • ✓ Eat some form of dinner
  • ✓ Do something I’ve been avoiding
  • ✓ Spend 20+ mins writing (or code)
  • ✓ Clean kitchen before bed
  • ✓ Pick up all clothes before bed
  • ✓ Wash my face before bed
  • ✓ Be in bed before midnight
  • ✓ Drink at least 6 glasses of water

At first glance, the list looks long. Then you realize… “Umm… why are breakfast, lunch, and dinner on your list of RESOLUTIONS?” “Shouldn’t this be something hard like… 3 times at the gym each week? What’s with this ‘5 minutes’ of exercise nonsense?

Well, to you I say Shush! and Shut up! Cause, even in my 30’s, I still suck at these basic bits of day-to-day human survival. Just be happy that I plan to write a little bit every day. That way, it’s like mathematically impossible for me to not get better at writing these posts… right? (Was that even English?)

There you have it, ladies and jellyspoons!

My 2017 New Year’s Resolutions:

Eat occassionally, exercise a bit, gtf out of bed like an adult, write stuff, and — for the love of all that is holynever sleep with makeup on.

🎉 Happy New Year Everyone! 🎉